i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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