Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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