Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
