Small penises have feelings too.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
