Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
