he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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