Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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