I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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