? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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