38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
