I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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