dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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