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I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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