I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
