i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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