I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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