Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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