he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
