wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
