I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
