please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
