so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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