# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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