and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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