this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
