none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
