dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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