Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
