Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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