thus making me awesome and them whores
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
