No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
wow bdsm is so cute
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
