Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
