Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize