We named our party play list daddy issues
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
