I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
