i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So much rum. So many feels.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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