i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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