He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
