i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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