my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
