I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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