In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
