Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
did i just pee glitter
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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