Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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