i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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