this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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