Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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