is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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