hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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