We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
