ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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