it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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