Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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