I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
