im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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