yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
