Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
