Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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