Define "chronic" masturbator.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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