Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
