I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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