I have demons in me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize