You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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