I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
please don't ironically join a cult
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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