Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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