please come you make the beer taste better
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
