You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
